music and worship

It was brought to my attention recently that it's been a month since I wrote a real entry in this. I'd like to be somewhat regular, but haven't made this a priority lately.

A subject I've thought about a lot probably ever since my senior year of college, but much more in the last few months is the role of music in worship. Specifically, I've been quite frustrated with my lack of understanding of what the point is of music worship and my inability to worship through music as I wish I would.

This is brought to the forefront of my mind quite frequently since I lead music worship and help with music worship teams quite often. The problem is that I often realize after leading worship that I extended so much energy into the music that not much of my conscious attention was given to actually worshiping God.

I also never know how to take it when people compliment me, saying something like "that was good worship today." I struggle with wondering what they mean, and whether that's a compliment I should accept. I'm afraid that they mean that the music was good and it provoked emotions in them and that was satisfying to them, or they just really enjoyed the music. I hope it means that somehow God used me and the music I played to make Himself more known to them and to help them to worship Him in spirit and truth. The problem with me believing the latter is that I know myself. If I'm in a worship service and the music is really good, or really bad, it is very distracting to me as a musician. It doesn't (or I don't let it) lead me to worship God. Instead, the music intrigues or disgusts me and I set my mind to trying to analyze the music and what I like or dislike about it. Quite possibly not too many people are like me in this. I'm assuming it might be common among musicians.

I also wonder whether music has become an idol or a hindrance to Christians in our day. I see so often in Christian history that one of Satan's most effective tactics is to get us to hold on to something really close to the truth or closely associated with true worship, enough that most people can be fooled. I do believe that music can be effective in worship. The only good reason I have become convinced of at this time (I hope I'm convinced of more later) is that it is about the only way to get a large group of people to be saying the same thing at the same time (and mostly on the same pitch). It's an amazing experience to be all singing the same thing to the same God and I believe He is glorified by that (especially since there is a lot of singing going on in heaven according to John's revelation). However, I wonder how many Christians in my church and in most churches in the US would consider it a real worship service if the music was taken out of it, or if their talented rock worship team was replaced with a mediocre southern gospel band or some other kind of music that doesn't necessarily move them. I'm really afraid that Satan's slipped in a lie and what we think is true worship is at least partly just getting into some music that we really like. Getting into music we really like isn't a bad thing, but if we say (by our actions) that that's what worshiping God is, He has got to be disgusted by our "worship services".

I'm not sure if I'm making my thoughts clear. But the main struggle I'm facing is this: I do not want to have any part in Satan's schemes to make music into an idol or a crutch needed for worship. I want to point people to the God of the universe, the creator of music, to be worshiped at all times, in all ways. And sometimes I'm afraid that I'm a part of what people are attaching themselves to that's almost worship, but not really. The other struggle is just in my ability to worship while leading worship, but I think that's mainly because of issues of pride and fear of man in myself. I'm slowly learning to surrender that to Jesus and take on His humility.

I may post more on this subject later, because I don't think I got out all of my thoughts on the subject, but I want to go to bed now. Please post comments if you have questions or thoughts on the subject. I'd appreciate hearing some other points of view.